Sex the UNIX way
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# finger
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Perhaps I've sent this story to TUHS before, but I can't resist. "finger: the most inappropriately named command in computerdom" (no, that's not a challenge...).
When I was in high school I was stealing, er, I mean, borrowing computer time from the local university. It wasn't quite as criminal as I make it sound; I was decently well known around campus, folks tolerated my presence admirably and as informal payment for the computer time, I did a lot of unpaid sysadmin work.
Anyway, this was the early 90s and the university was starting to give email accounts to pretty much everyone. What this meant was that there was a server somewhere running sendmail that accepted incoming mail, and a POP3 server that you could connect to to download that mail. There were self-service computer labs around campus connected to the university network, and the `finger` service on the main campus machine was backed by a database that responded to a crude, limited query syntax. Notably, you could finger your own first and last name (in quotes) and get some data about your account, including your login name (most of which were of the form abc123 because ... university bureaucracy). However, the university wasn't all that great about telling people any of this stuff...word had gotten out that everyone had an email account, but not how to go about getting your login information, etc. They certainly never mentioned the "finger" command.
Of course, among the computer types, using 'finger' was par for the course. "Hey, you going to be online later?" "Yeah, just finger me over at the math department." Etc.
One day I was hanging around near the helpdesk when a young woman, a graduate student, came in to ask about her account details. The student on duty at the time, in a very helpful, cheerful voice said, "oh, that's easy! Just finger yourself!" (Oh context, you are everything...).
Jaws dropped. Stunned silence ensued. The student working the helpdesk, suddenly looking approximately like he might die, managed to awkwardly stammer out something about "the the the finger command" and "I mean, uh, I'm not saying that YOU should, like, you know... I mean, I don't mean THAT...and, uh...I'm just making it worse, aren't I? Here, this will all make so much more sense if I just show you what I mean. On the computer! I mean...just let me type this thing...er, what's your name?"
The graduate student left a few minutes later with her login details. So far as I know, no one got fired. In the end I think everyone had a good laugh, grad student included.
- Dan C.
On 2/5/20, Rob Pike <robpike@gmail.com> wrote:
> Frodo (Ted Kowalski) told me it was originally spelled, and pronounced,
> fuck, for good reason, but he soon realized it was going to be used by
> others and changed one letter. It was just letters after that.
>
> -rob
>
>
> On Thu, Feb 6, 2020 at 1:34 AM Clem cole <clemc@ccc.com> wrote:
>
>> FWIW. When it was written, Ted and I used pronounced it as “fisk” (rhymes
>> with “disk”), but F. S. C. K. was always acceptable to my ears. I admit
>> I
>> smiled one time when I heard some one call it “f-sick” but that was not
>> considered the proper pronunciation.
>>
>> Sent from my PDP-7 Running UNIX V0 expect things to be almost but not
>> quite.
>>
>> > On Feb 5, 2020, at 3:45 AM, arnold@skeeve.com wrote:
>> >
>> > "G. Branden Robinson" <g.branden.robinson@gmail.com> wrote:
>> >
>> >> At 2020-02-04T09:40:18+0100, Sijmen J. Mulder wrote:
>> >>> markus schnalke <meillo@marmaro.de> wrote:
>> >>>> Wikipedia writes that `ed' would be pronounced ``ee-dee'' (like
>> >>>> ``vee-eye''), is that what you english speakers do?
>> >>
>> >> Certainly not. When one sees a command name that duplicates a
>> >> frequently-used diminituve of a common name, the brain is going to
>> >> select that preferentially.
>> >
>> > ISTR thinking of it and calling it e-d, along with r-m, l-n, m-v and
>> > the other two-letter commands.
>> >
>> >> (And did people really say "dee-eye-tee-roff" for "ditroff"?)
>> >
>> > I did ... Although it's "groff" and not "g-roff". :-)
>> >
>> > FWIW,
>> >
>> > Arnold
>>
>