Years ago just before one of the USENIX meetings in Atlanta Dennis made some joke comment that nobody had ever asked for a plaster cast of his genitals.

A bunch of us thought it would be fun at the conference to hand out genital casting kits to Dennis and certain others of note.     We ran down to a local art supply store and bought some plaster and portioned out into zone ziplock bags   We added some paper cups to use for molds and wooded sticks to mix with.   We needed a release agent.  Vaseline would work, but I couldn’t figure out how we’d get small portions (I couldn’t use the ziplock bag idea practically).   Fortunately, there was a little gift shop in the hotel lobby and they had these travel size jars.   Perfect.

Now the interesting thing was that concurrent with USENIX was the Southern Baptist Conference meetings (this led to some odd events at local restaurants).

Anyhow, I walk up to the cashier and plop down ten jars of Vaseline.

She looks at me and says, “I guess y’all aren’t with the Baptists.”

Oddly, most recipients took the gift in good spirit but Redman had a fit for some reason.   Babette suggested perhaps we made the kit too large for him.