3rd September, 1989
Fred was a transexual, just booking in for his sex-change operation. The nurse took down his particulars. Fred then ate two large elderberries, which annoyed his left big toe, when a small, but large, encyclopaedia unceremoniously decapitated his head from his neck and then proceeded to reassemble the various portions of the rabbit in order to allow Ozalp the blind dog to have a good feed.
Later, while falling down a lift well, he reflected on his boyhood desire to become an astronaut. He now felt that astronautics was a silly idea and much preferred his chosen trade of warthog breeding. One of his greatest successes was to cross a warthog with a dog thus making a warthog with no eyes.
In the nearby town of Kruzchenelenenskiovstrovosk, the commisar Fred ordered all the missiles to be launched, but that they should be aimed at Prunella, who happened to live across the road, and had incredibly large and versatile eyelashes.
``Can't you see that I'm trying to remove the bodily hair in preparation for Arrrrgh!'' but then he died and was returned to a certain ash covered hamlet for burial. ``To the islands, James, and don't spare the horses.'' Who's James?
Anyway, back to the real story where Miss Fred had just fallen over and broken her artificial knee. Despite that, her other five legs were in good shape. She grabbed him and threw up all over the linen. Grabbing Patrick's samurai sword off the mantelpiece, she lunged at the grandfather clock. It leapt quickly to one side but she anticipated, and pushed it back into the coffin, squashing Patrick who was lying there peacefully, and dead, as would be expected.
Anyway, back to the real story, where it is of little consequence, of course, that many mountainous apperturances can lead to problems of cleanliness and undue body hair.