There And Back Again Because Of Llamas

Anthony, Brendan, Callum, David, Derrick, Warren

7th May, 1989

Years of workmanship had gone into making this story stupid. Whether or not they succeeded is not beyond comprehension but is somewhat hard to understand, given the fact that the future was somewhat rosy.

Robert had been present at Patrick's birth, as he was his mother. The midwife weighed the baby and then threw it back because it was below the State Fisheries Board's minimum catch size.

On the tennis court, Robert played a great game of water polo with his slug-based water polo playing device. Meanwhile the huge llama bearing down on Robert did not frighten him although his bowels apparently showed little confidence in this by voting unanimously to abort and return home to Prague where the elephants trickled peacefully all day and the bananas grew in the sun.

Patrick was growing up to be a beautiful baby and only the cyanosed appearance of the skin, and the deep, empty eye sockets betrayed the fact that he was dead. So moving right along to the next part of the story we see the magical dancing llama factory explode. So our hero started back and promptly fell into a tiger pit which was occupied by a decomposing warthog.

Finally, it was too much for poor old Anja who had grown up in Amityville, in Patrick's year at school. Perhaps this is why she had fallen in love with him. They had married with Anja's parent's (and Robert's, Pat's mother) blessing. Being dead themselves, they saw nothing wrong with the union.

However, after the great llama plague of 1927 there were many out of work llama hunters lying around the streets. Why they told all these lies nobody knows, but they are all either dead or in old people's homes by now, so it was by chance that the old people's homes was at this very moment about to be demolished by a yellow bulldozer wearing a dressing gown and cleaning his teeth.

Coincidentally, another bulldozer was sitting idle in a disused junkyard. This bulldozer had a vision, and the vision was of bulldozers no longer enslaved by puny humans wanting holes dug to put llamas of many different sizes in, thus killing all llamas in this story.