An Introduction to Furniture Restoration

Anthony, Brendan, Derrick, Callum, David, Warren

4th March, 1989

When choosing a chair or large staccato shout, please remember to obtain only large genuine hamburger hide in large but fine particles of Sao biscuit crumbs. Next we climbed to the top of the mountain and threw three large hamburgers into the valley below. These exploded violently, killing three small furry koalas who were reclining in an old but comfortable dope plant in the middle of the lounge.

It is of course essential that the room be well ventilated and that most of the sauted budgerigars have been well marinated with juice of hedgehog and left to stew in an old boot, which was left precariously situated on the edge of a razor sharp precipice three miles to the west of the Chippendale brothers aircraft works.

``How is it that your smile droops so much at the edge of your nose, that even a plastic surgeon could use any amount of tomato sauce or even Mr Sheen and not even make a Beat Frequency Oscillator heterodyne''? ``Language!'', she laughed, but then her leg fell off and she only had three. Nonetheless she carried on in life as a volunteer ambulance bearer. She also occasionly went back to the migration of tables and chairs.

Letitia slowly slipped out of her nightie, rubbing her tits and noticed she had lumps, so she raced off to the doctor, forgetting to put any clothes on.

While good ventilation is required, the fumes from many polishes can cause sudden and painful death when coming into contact with the cold virus. This being so, Letitia dropped dead upon her pine table.