Defective Ids Delight Mangoes

Anthony, Brendan, Callum, David, Derrick, Warren

7th May, 1989

Subconsciously, Robert hated mangoes. He delighted in subjecting Patrick's id to massive shock, and soporific tendencies which is in no way really connected with the fact that he was the third, or possible fourth, person to travel to the large mango grove this year.

Suddenly, Stephanie stepped on Anja's kneebrace and rotary mango picker, careening down the adjacent set of strawberry cheesecakes and finally coming to rest in a rather large free-standing slug. Meanwhile some flying slugs and two platoons of amphibious mice were heading determinedly toward the decaying sink full of heat.

After serenely stepping out of the balloon, Robert dejectedly realised that his parachute was now caught in the rather decrepit and rusted rotary mango picker which Stephanie had carefully placed on the mantelpiece next to the samurai sword.

Aethelfrith came into the room, after picking her name off the floor where it had fallen with a sickening thud. Then she summoned her maid. ``Olga!'', she stammered, hiding the whips and handcuffs in the chest, ``would you please leave''.

Meanwhile in a forest nearby, where Robert's body still lay entangled with parachute and rotary mango picker , the vines and bushes of the forest were slowly turning the wreckage into something else.

Meanwhile back in our real story, Aethelfrith (Daughter of Stephanie) was writing a story about Patrick's vengeful murder of Robert, called `The New York Times.' Stephanie arrived and then again two weeks later, only this time she brought her mangoes with her. Robert noticed the mangoes were not machine picked. He noticed no more, primarily due to the large knife sticking out of its sheath.

Meanwhile, 10,000 feet lower, Patrick was beginning to slowly disintegrate to various sections of the subterranean microcosmos of the Norwegian bolt ant, which incidentally, has always been extinct. On a similar note, Patrick has always been dead. This in no way affects his part in this story. Since being joined by Robert, Patrick's iron leg was much better off - no cracks or burrs. The only problem was the leg produced a voltage when it touched Olga's nose, causing a massive charge dissipation creating a local void of charge thus causing a discharge.

Melinda had once seen Stephanie impersonating Patrick's corpse. On a lighter note, Olga's Stradivarius melodiously rendered the beautiful strains of `Escherichia Coli' null and void. Nearby a nuclear powered fridge containing samples of microflora blew its fuse, thus causing them to mutate quietly into quadruple qualing queens.

Patrick's corpse was beginning to smell quite a bit like a decomposing warthog. The toddler nearby playfully started an electric jig-saw, shearing its left arm off and ripping the tendons from their anchor points. Wendy, after cleaning up the pool of blood started dismantling the anchor chain, making it fit to kill another slug.

Olga (Robert's illicit sister) leapt off the cliff with a cry of ``See how my hang-glider works!''. Patrick passed her on the way down. She hoped the toddler would regain consciousness so that it could see the rather large rotary mango picker plummeting toward it at a rather extremely large rate of knots. However, the best pickers only weigh five grams and have no sharp edges or pointy teeth.

Near Olga's broken and bleeding remains, a large hedgehog frantically nursed her back to life, and called an ambulance which promptly crashed killing all on board. In a nearby disk drive a low flying read/write head collided with a particle of smoke from Stephanie's marijuana cigarette and resulted in severe loss of data in the high word of Robert's pet dog Ozalp.

Breaking the interlock, he took the helmet off his spacesuit, with which, unfortunately, came his head. Slightly disconcerted at this the spacesuit told Stephanie to remain at the Triffid house until Melinda returned with Patrick's now putrid remains. The Triffids didn't stand a chance against the Raiders - the score was 27-2. Perhaps things would change in the semi-final. Nonetheless, a large maggot perambulated uncontentionally into the broom cupboard which had recently been blown up. After the nuclear holocaust, many characters died from radioactivity. Patrick was still dead, of course, as was his body. Nevertheless he began anew and left. Initially he had thought a linear or alternating motion would be most efficient for picking mangoes, but this was rejected as being too silly.

Eventually he decided to use his hands and was able to crawl his way up the side of the space shuttle, gaining a rather large number of heat protective tiles, however, which had fallen through the roof onto the nuclear powered fridge Robert had been sitting on only the day before. Llamas are very dangerous, and should be avoided at any time before twelve.

Dennis suddenly entered the story, riding his V8 supersplon reversible supercharged hamster foot with overhead underhangs and triple vector thrusters, which were necessary to cross mangoes with elderberries. Sir Mervyn Moncrieff's patented mango picker would, naturally, explode violently since it was of American origin. Meanwhile, Stephanie's decaying warthog took her mind off the terminally ill toddler with the damaged forearm belonging to a person who will not be named because it has no bearing on the story (apologies to Douglas Adams).

The rotating knives were spinning rapidly. His id was defective. He wanted to trade it in for the latest model of toilet bowl, or even a hideous orangutang, which in fact died.

In trying to save Stephanie from the fire, Aethelfrith caused the samurai sword to fall from its place and cut her in half. Nobody really noticed though, since she was only a midget and the sword cut above her head.

In years past the number of eyeballs of a typical frog (two) he had forgotten only the day before. The mangoes continued to grow in the noonday sun, despising the ids of the small and insignificant creatures attempting to pick them.